


If I Can't Have You, I Will Never Be Found

by NotMyRealm221



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Theater Bizarre (2011), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anal Sex, Arguing, Breaking Up & Making Up, Cheating, Confessions, Don’t Leave Me, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional Suffocation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual One Sided Realtionship, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Steve Rogers, I Love You, I'm Going to Hell, If I Can’t Have You No One Can, Kitchen Sex, Last Chance, Leaving, Loki Is A Whore In This, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, Loki’s Cheating, Love Bites, Loved To Death, Loving Too Much, M/M, Manipulation, Marriage Proposal, Murder-Suicide, Obsession, One Last Time, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Stabbing, TOO MUCH LOVE, The Author Regrets Everything, The Theater Bizarre inspired, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Relationships, What Have I Done, breaking up, suffocating, unfaithful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 00:10:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14800568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotMyRealm221/pseuds/NotMyRealm221
Summary: After six years, Loki can’t take it anymore. Thor needs to get it in his head that it’s over.





	If I Can't Have You, I Will Never Be Found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meimaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meimaru/gifts).



> Okay, so, the title was inspired by The Show Must Go On by Famous Last Words, and I’ve got a part from the song in the beginning to this, and I don’t own it. Also, this story was really inspired by one of the stories in a movie called The Theater Bizarre. I won’t talk about that one, but if you’ve seen the movie, you would know which story that is....Enjoy at your own risk.

 

> _Why won't you let me in, just let me in_  
>  _We'll masquerade this awkward phase that we're stuck in_  
>  _If you accept me and forever be by my side_  
>  _Remember what I said? Every day's a new sunrise_  
>  _So let's just act pretend like this never happened_  
>  _I'm your arcane guardian_  
>  _Just let me in_

 

<^>

_Hey this is Loki. Leave a message at the beep, bye._

_Beep_

Thor hung up, rubbing his face with one hand, not knowing what to think. He chewed on his bottom lip and dialed again.

_Hey this is Loki. Leave a message at the beep, bye._

_Beep_

Sighing, Thor said “Hey, it’s me again. I’ve probably called a million times today, but you’re not answering your phone..Just call me back as soon as you can, okay? I love you.”

<^>

It’s the tenth call Loki has gotten from Thor, in the last ten minutes. He sighed and said “Call number ten. And he wonders why I’m not answering.”

Steve turned to him and asked “Are you sure you want to do this? It doesn’t have to be today.”

Loki nodded and said “I have to. He’s a mess, but he deserves to know.”

“You want me to come with you?”

Loki smiled and shook his head and said “No, I’ll be fine. This shouldn’t take long.” Before leaning in for a kiss. After six years, Loki can’t take it anymore. Thor needs to get it in his head that it’s over.

<^>

When there was a knock on the door, Thor quickly sat up and when he got up to answer it, he hoped it was Loki. He looked in the peephole and sure enough, he smiled and opened the door.

Loki was standing there, not smiling. Thor just brushed it off and said “Hey Baby, how was work? And you got my messages.”

The slighter man nodded and said “Work was fine, and yes, I got them all.” And when Thor went in for a kiss, Loki turned away, and said “We need to talk, Thor.” Before going over to the couch, sitting down.

The blond swallowed, his grip on the door tightening, before closing it. “Alright.” He went to sit down beside him, but Loki scooted away from him.

Rolling his eyes, Loki said “Just, sit over there. Please?”

Hurt, Thor nodded and went back over to the chair where he was sitting at, before Loki knocked on the door. He sat back and asked “What’s up?”

The slighter man studied him, before chuckling. He shook his head and asked “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

Loki sighed and said “Thor...I can’t do this anymore. I thought I could, I wanted to think you’d get better, but clearly, I was wrong.”

Thor was totally confused. He leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees, and asked “Loki, what the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m leaving, Thor. I came back to talk to you, and get my stuff. It’s over.”

Loki waited, letting his words sink in, and apparently, they were. But the blond chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh come on Loki, don’t be ridiculous. We’ve been together for six years, I love you-“

“I’m not kidding, Thor. And I know we’ve been together for six years, but I can’t take it anymore. Can’t you see it? You’re smothering me! You call me a hundred times a day just to check up on me, I can’t go anywhere without you asking where I’m going, who I’m going with, what we’ll be doing. If I’m more than five minutes late, I have to explain myself-“

“I do all of that because I love you. And I worry about you.”

“Well then, there must be a pretty thin line between loving and obsession. I mean for awhile, I loved it. I thought it was sweet, it made me feel special, but God, Thor, it’s just too much now. I can’t breathe when I’m with you, and you always say you’ll change, but you never will...I have to go.”

Thor didn’t want to believe it. He still wanted to believe that Loki was kidding, playing some sick joke on him. He stood up and stepped closer to the slighter man, who took a step back from him. The blond asked “You really feel that way?”

Loki nodded and said “Yeah, I do. Now I need to get my stuff ready, my ride is outside, waiting for me.”

“Your ride?”

Loki nodded and said “Yes Thor. My ride, my boyfriend is down there waiting for me.”

“Boyfriend? I’m your boyfriend!”

The slighter man sighed and said “No, you’re not, not anymore. But thank you so much for listening!”

Clenching his fist, the blond asked “Okay, who is he, then? If I’m not your boyfriend, whose your new man?”

“It’s none of your business, Thor.”

“It is if my boyfriend is whoring around with some other guy!”

Loki chuckled and said “He isn’t the only one. There’s been others.”

Thor’s eyes widened “Others? For how long?”

“Three and a half years. I’ve fucked around behind your back every chance I got, for three and a half years. Is that what you want to hear?”

He couldn’t believe it. Thor has been cheated on in the past before Loki, so he’s had trust issues, but he thought things would finally be okay. The blond shook his head and said “So, you’re admitting that you’re a whore?”

“Yes, I’m a whore, Thor. I am a lying, cold blooded, goddamn whore, and at this point, I don’t give a damn anymore. Scream at me, hit me, do whatever you think you need to do, but nothing will make me stay here with you, I can’t!”

Thor shook his head and said “You know I’d never lay a hand on you like that Loki, I love you! I’d do anything for you, without a second thought! And I just worked my ass off for months to buy you a ring, I was gonna ask you to marry me when you got home today!”

Loki smiled a little, before shaking his head. “You poor fool. And I loved you, but now I love someone else. And I need to move on. Now if you will excuse me-“ Loki turned to walk into the bedroom, when Thor grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

Loki looked over at the blond and said “Thor, let go of me.”

The larger man said “In a minute. I just...” stopping when he felt tears in his eyes. One rolled down his cheek and he looked Loki in the eye. “Please.” He whispered. “Baby please, don’t go. Don’t go, I love you. I can change, just give me a chance, I’ll change, just for you.”

Loki sighed, but didn’t fight him as the blond leaned down and pressing their foreheads together. “We can work this out, we can work anything out, but I just want you.” And he still didn’t stop him when Thor kissed him. The slighter man slowly kissed him back, and Thor could feel his heart swell.

Thor smiled against his lips and said “You’re all I want.” Before kissing him again. After a minute, Loki pulled back, turning his face away from the blond. Thor used the opportunity to start kissing down the slighter man’s neck, in all his favorite spots. “Does your man down there know all your sweet spots, Baby?”

Loki nodded, eyes closed. “Every one.” Biting his lip as the blond sucked a fresh mark onto his creamy skin. Thor pulled back to admire the mark and asked “Does he leave pretty marks on you? Does he fuck you better than I do?”

The slighter man smirked and nodded. “Yes, he does.”

“Really?”

Loki nodded again and said “Really.” Thor growled and went back in, sucking another mark right beside the first, and Loki couldn’t help but laugh at just how fucked up this all was.

<^>

Loki had a white-knuckle grip on the counter in the kitchen while bent over, Thor moved behind him. It had been awhile since he and Thor has done this, especially while their clothes were still on.

Thor gripped Loki’s hip in one hand, and the other went to wrap around the slighter man’s neck, squeezing, but not enough to hurt him. He hopes that maybe this will convince Loki to stay, no matter how fucked up it is. After he came, he carefully pulled Loki up by his neck, until his back was pressed against the blonds chest.

Loki moaned, head back while Thor finished him off, and after, they stood their panting. Thor smiled, kissing down Loki’s neck, saying. “I knew you still loved me. Things will change around here Baby, you’ll see.”

Though Loki was still coming down, he sighed and said “I’m still leaving.”

<^>

Thor was stunned by Loki’s words. After they fixed their clothes, he asked “What do you mean you’re still leaving? After we just...I thought-“

Loki said “Like I said, you’ll never change. One thing I’m great at is lying Thor, and you’re horrible at it.”

The blond stood there frozen, watching as Loki readjusted his clothes, before looking back at him. “I’m sorry, Thor.”

and walked over into the bathroom. He thought they would finally be okay, but he was wrong. He rubbed his face with his hands, fighting back tears. He can’t lose Loki, he won’t.

Without thinking, he grabbed a knife from the block and made it over to the bathroom in just a few big steps, and waited. As soon as Loki came out, Thor grabbed him by the back of the neck, looked him in the eye, and drove the knife into him.

Loki gasped, eyes going wide. He looked down at the knife in his stomach, and gripped the blonds shoulder. “ _Thor-_ “ but gasped as the larger man yanked it out, driving it right into another spot, before pulling it out again.

“Why couldn’t you just stay with me?” Thor asked, tears falling. “I loved you so much, but you just used me. _You used me, you fucking whore!_ ”

He had lost count of how many times he stabbed Loki, but knew he did it enough until the slighter man stopped moving, body going limp in his arms. When he finally dropped the knife, he dropped down onto his knees, holding the limp body in his arms.

Thor sat here crying, talking to the corpse, not caring that he was covered in Loki’s blood. He said “We could’ve worked it out...We could’ve been happy, why wouldn’t you just let me? After you said that, I realized that if I couldn’t have you, no one could..”

He gently laid Loki down on the floor, brushing back his beautiful black hair, getting some blood in it. The blond took a deep breath and sighed, saying “But I’ll fix it, Baby, I’ll fix everything...You won’t be alone.” He leaned down and kissed Loki’s forehead, before picking up the knife.

He kept his eyes fixed on the corpse as he brought the edge of blade to his throat, and took another deep breath. He smiled down at Loki and said “I’ll fix it, Loki.” Before pressing hard and cut from one side, to the other.

Thor gasped, bringing a hand to his throat. He felt his blood rush through his fingers, getting all over him. He dropped down next to Loki, and reached out for him with his free hand. He touched the slighter man’s face as he was bleeding out, and before he could try to speak, he stopped moving.

<^>

Steve tried to call and text Loki, ask him what was talking so long, and if he needed any help. He remembers what apartment Thor is in, and even though Loki wanted him to stay in the car, he was going to risk it. As soon as he stood in front of Thor’s front door, he knocked, asking “Loki? Guys?”

When he got no response, he knocked again, asking “Loki? It’s me, is everything okay?” And when he tried the doorknob, he realized the door was unlocked. Steve hesitated, saying “Alright, I’m coming in.” And opened the door.

When he stepped inside, he looked around and when he looked down, he jumped back. The two were lying together in a pool of blood, and Steve clamped a hand on his mouth. “Oh my God!” He ran over to his boyfriends side, dropping down next to him to check his pulse.

“No...No, no, no, no, Loki! Loki, oh my God! Help! Somebody, please, I need some help!”


End file.
